The Obligatory What-To-Get-The-Shoe-Diet-Man Post

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Sexy naked beasts captured by Bruce Weber

As if December wasn't enough of a mental strain, those of you that have a romantic situation that you predict lasting over a fortnight have another gift-giving exercise. For the sake of all of us shopping last minute, I've mulled over what to get the man that has everything - The Shoe Diet Man, although you can get this for the man who does need something, because what's on this list probably trumps gas cards or socks (unless he really really needs them, but also get yourself a well deserved nice bottle of wine.)

Something Nice

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What about something charitable? This past Christma-kah I got a beautifully calligraphied note that someone had donated to a charity in my name. It was pretty and gave me warm fuzzies AND I didn't have to wear it and pretend I liked it. There are some special experiences you can buy from different orginazations depending on what you're into, and for me it's the zoo. Above is me feeding a giraffe in the Houston zoo's barn, but there are lots of tours to choose from.

Something Sexxxy

Don't tell me you haven't thought about it, and don't think twice about whether buying something lacy for you is really a gift for him, because if you wouldn't wear it under jeans or sweat pants to Whole Foods, it's for him. While you're at it, you could pair it with a set of pictures of you in it for when he's solo, professionally shot or selfies.

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La Pearla rojo slip

Some Kind Of Luxe

Even though our phones tell you the time and Siri'll write anything out for you, dudes insist on keeping around things like pens and watches, and more than a Bic.

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A Faber-Castell fountain pen for the gentleman that writes.

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Or this Givenchy watch for telling time.

But most of all, don't discard the importance of a handwritten card. Extra points if you pull out the glitter and glue and make it yourself. Happy valentines guys, no matter what (who) you do <3